Thursday, December 17, 2009

Tiger: "No, Really Ron, That's OK"

Oh, wow. My friend Jon sends along this incredible document: An open letter of support for Tiger Woods . . . from Ron Artest.

In case you don't know, Artest, an NBA star, is 49 kinds of entertaining crazy. It's safe to say that Tiger can file such a letter from Artest under Even More Trouble.

In the letter, Artest talks about the difficulty of staying true to his wife, who he's been with since they were 14! (Second-best moment in the letter: "I still cope with the fact that there are so many women out there and I choose to stay loyal to my wife.") In addition to actually straying from her (he has a child with another woman), he has also, like Jimmy Carter, lusted quite a bit in his heart. (Best moment in the letter—or maybe any letter, ever—by far: "I cannot sit here and say the thought to have many women has never crossed my mind. If I were Jesus I could.")

Meanwhile, the month's most predictable headline.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a longtime reader, I continue to appreciate your thoughtful and interesting musings about music, books, movies and pop culture. However, I cannot help but wonder where you stand with regard to the political issues that seemed to consume the conversation prior to last years presidential election. You were a strong and vocal supporter of the Obama campaign and there were vigorous debates on a variety of topics. Now that the President has been in office for almost a year and his agenda is actually taking shape with real and actual consequences, there is a complete lack of comment or discussion. Admirably, the President has undertaken some of the largest challenges in decades, however his popular support has fallen below 50%. Just wondering if you have any thoughts or comments about his actions and accomplishments over the past year whether it be with regard to the 800 billion dollar stimulus plan (funds for Acorn, etc.), the Nobel peace prize, a trillion dollar health care reform package that will be passed over a weekend at midnight, the makeup of his administration, his participation at Copenhagen regarding climate change, his polite "letters" to the leaders of Iran and North Korea, etc. These, among countless other issues, have sparked a broad debate throughout the country, yet there is almost complete silence here. I will continue to enjoy your excellent writings, but just wondering where you and your readers stand one year later. Respectfully submitted.

8:44 AM  
Blogger lmha said...

My other favorite line, is the oh-so-credibility-enhancing: "This is your first publicly known issue since you started your career, compared to my 50 or more publicly known issues and mistakes."

And the real compliment of:
"You have been the perfect role model for me and my sons for longer than anyone I have known.
With the exception of a few legends."

That little nugget reminds me of Smoove B's writing style on The Onion.

3:53 PM  

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