Saturday, January 20, 2007

Fueled by Hatred

The guys at Pajiba, myself included, recently posted the (Sh)It List, an answer to all the annual, fawning "It" lists in magazines like Rolling Stone and Entertainment Weekly. (Warning to mother of ASWOBA and others: Pajiba's not shy about the obscenities, especially when angry.) I aimed my disdain at Julianne Moore and trailer editors, while the rest of the crew targeted Scarlett Johansson, remakes, and "torture porn," among other subjects. My favorite entry, though, was probably by Seth, who, inspired by Time's ridiculous naming of "You" as person of the year, decided to focus on the other You. The bad You:
Despite my previous comments to the contrary, You do not live solely in the middle of the country — You abound throughout this nation of ours, in numbers too great (unfortunately) to be ignored. You are the loud, obnoxious sons of bitches surrounding me in every movie theater, laughing at the inane bits, talking out of turn, loudly chewing your cud, and just generally making moviegoing an almost entirely miserable experience. You are responsible for network television being littered with crappy procedurals, crappier reality shows, and crappiest game shows. You are responsible for Titanic being the all-time number-one box-office hit. You are responsible for Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay. You are responsible for the cancellation of “Freaks and Geeks” and “Arrested Development.” You are responsible for the Santa Clause trilogy. You are directly responsible for “Two and a Half Men” winning a Peoples’ Choice Award for best comedy. You are responsible for movie studios and television networks having increasingly little faith, patience or willingness to stand behind good art. You are responsible for the Hollywood complex choosing to serve to the lowest common denominator. You are responsible for the suck.


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