Thursday, August 06, 2009

"Actors were hired, lights set up, meals catered."

My friend Dez just wrapped up his list of favorite movies. (The top choice isn't a shocker, given the name of his blog.) A few days ago, he also had a post asking people for their worst movie of all time. (His was The Phantom Menace.) It can be an overwhelming question. It probably takes most people much longer to think of their worst-ever movie than their favorite movie.

Last month, The Morning News asked its writers and readers a related (but different) question: What are your favorite worst movies? (Italics mine.)

The contributors produce some spine-tingling sentences, like the following:
Starring John Larroquette as a sex-starved motorcycling bartender...

Like all truly great movies, a trained bear cub—who is arguably the protagonist—follows the man throughout.

The film is, admittedly, a mess of plot, character, and interminable (but highly entertaining!) phantasmagoria culled from Chinese folklore.
Then there's Jon Roig's take on a certain rapper and his Hollywood debacle:
“Drop that zero and get with the hero.” Some writer got paid to pen that line for Vanilla Ice. Somebody funded the creation of Cool as Ice (1991). Actors were hired, lights set up, meals catered. This is no cracker-jack production. If the central thesis of the Great Bad Movie theory is a terrible idea executed to the height of ridiculousness, then C.A.I. is one of the central texts.
Lauren Frey is the only contributor who mystified me. She seems to be arguing that Better Off Dead is a bad movie. Huh? Distinctly '80s, sure. Goofy, yeah. But come on.

The person clearly after my own heart is Heidi Armstrong, who chooses Deep Blue Sea, which would probably be my answer to this question as well. What's more, she singles out Samuel L. Jackson's death scene as "the pinnacle laugh-out-loud moment." (This clip cuts off the full absurdity of his preceding speech, but you get the idea.) I love that scene so much that I once strenuously worked it into a review of an entirely different Jackson movie.

Along similar lines, searching for "best death scene" on YouTube is fun. It leads to clips like this and this and this. Oh, and I always like any excuse to post to this.



Blogger Mike Lindgren said...

The worst movie of all time is Judge Dredd, starring Sylvester Stallone. The worst real movie of all time is Bodies, Rest, and Motion.

3:47 PM  
Blogger Kraig Smith said...

Speaking of Deep Blue Sea, for the visual round I created for the trivia I hosted last night, one of the images is a freeze-frame of Jackson just a hair before the shark gets him. You can even see the teeth just barely. I'll be posting the entire visual round later tonight on my check it out!

8:17 PM  

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