Fun With Ads

From the blog Weirdomatic, here are several old advertisements, proving that the business of pitching things to people has always been a strange (and strangely entertaining) one.

First up, knocking out grandpa when he gets a bit frisky:


Look out, he's got a cane and he can almost bend his arm to a right angle!!!

Not shuffleboard for this agitation. Not a crossword puzzle. Not a walk around the neighborhood. Straight-up Thorazine.

Next, finding the most wholesome bread for your Satanically possessed child:


"What Mommy doesn't know is that she's covering that bread with the delicious blood of my former best friend Sally!! Mwwwaaaa-haaaaa-haaa!!!"

And lastly, we'll have to ask the children to leave the room:



(For the full details of what this ad is suggesting, click to enlarge.)

"A man marries a woman because he loves her." Makes sense. "So instead of blaming him if married love begins to cool, she should question herself." Oh, wow. Yes, dear, please unlock your Doubt and Inhibitions, and particularly your extra-thick chain of Ignorance, and get into the bathroom with that Lysol. Maybe then we'll talk. Maybe.

(Via Very Short List)