Friday, November 30, 2007

“Hill believes God has an awesome plan that starts along I-35”

Andrew Sullivan was kind enough to point me (well, and his other million readers) to the video below, in which raving lunatic Pat Robertson introduces a report about how a group of similarly lunatic Christians have "come to believe because of recent prophecies, dreams, and visions, that I-35 (which runs the length of the country between Duluth and southern Texas) is the highway spoken of in Isaiah 35, verse 8." Hmm, if dreams could be so trusted, I'd be worshipping a variety of talking animals and hazily-recognizable ex-girlfriends. And those would be the sanest things I'd worship.

One pastor in the report below says that groups of "on-fire Christians" (one of them on their way to a den of sin, at right) are saving souls outside of "places like abortion clinics, gay bars, strip clubs, and porn shops." Hearing the Christian reporter reel off that list of places in his bright-and-shiny Christian voice was the highlight of the clip for me.

An ASWOBA T-shirt for whoever can find out how much they paid the "ex-gay" teenager to testify on camera.

What's most disappointing to me is that I spent many, many hours on I-35, and all that time I had no idea I was traveling on some kind of Jesus Superhighway. I now realize that the cop who once gave me a speeding ticket in Waxahachie was just trying to rid me of demons. Makes the whole episode a lot more palatable. If any of Jesus' teachings have stayed with me from my church years, they're the big ones: have sex with chicks and obey traffic laws.

This clip does make me miss Dallas a little less. Enjoy:


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder what God's plan was when he made the bridge on I-35, which is about 3 blocks away from my house, fall in to the Mississippi. Holy Traffic Congestion? Sacrificial Sedans? Blessed Gawker Cluster-Fucks All Over the God-Damned City?

All praise the MN-DOT...

5:09 PM  
Blogger lmha said...

"A highway will be there, a roadway, And it will be called the Highway of Holiness. The unclean will not travel on it, But it will be for him who walks that way, And fools will not wander on it." Well, right off the bat, this is waaaay off base. There are more fools wandering on I-35 than probably any other highway in the country. Pat Robertson is such a doof.

6:01 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home