The Colbert Column

When is a Maureen Dowd column best? Easy: When it's not written by Maureen Dowd.

Her column today was written by Stephen Colbert (or a team of his writers, but who's keeping track?), and it's a treat. First, there's this:

I'd like to thank Maureen Dowd for permitting/begging me to write her column today. As I type this, she's watching from an overstuffed divan, petting her prize Abyssinian and sipping a Dirty Cosmotinijito. Which reminds me: Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:

Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn't have to think about. It's all George Bush's fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.

There. Now I've written Frank Rich's column too.

Then this:

And Fred Thompson. In my opinion "Law & Order" never sufficiently explained why the Manhattan D.A. had an accent like an Appalachian catfish wrestler.

Everything else is pretty funny, too. Read it.