AP Headlines of the Day

I'm not sure this feature has ever seen a day quite like this one. A bounty for you:

Turtle Eaten by Golden Retriever Lives

Newborn Ends Up in Pa. Woman's Pant Leg

Woman Says She Got Cancer by Hugging Dad

And my favorite, just because I imagine the qualifier after the semi-colon could be used in far more headlines than it currently is:

Man Grabs Shark With Hands; Blames Vodka

See, watch how it could work, using more of today's news:

Quincy Jones Planning Movie on Brazil; Blames Vodka

'Beckham' Director Pregnant With Twins; Blames Vodka

Bush Signs $464 Billion Spending Bill; Blames Vodka