Ellipses

Ohio State: Tops in hoops, football, and drunken futon accidents. . . . Instead of attending your high school reunion, would you rather just call out some of your ex-classmates' deep, dark secrets on a blog? If so, I have someone I'd like you to meet. . . . And now, a joke. This one transcribed from a performance by one of my favorite comedians, Todd Barry (it's a bit criminal to write one of his jokes, because his delivery is so important, but this is great anyway): "I saw this documentary on this band Fugazi...and they have a lot of integrity. They won't charge more than five bucks for their concerts. Five bucks! You know there's gotta be at least one guy in the band who ain't happy about this. The drummer is gonna snap at rehearsal and be like, 'Hey, fellas, can we stop a second? I had the craziest idea. How about...six bucks? Yeah, I was thinking that extra dollar times 800 people a night, times five shows a week, equals...I don't have a roommate when I'm 47.' "