Showing Up Fashionably Late for 1995

I finally caved and bought a cell phone. Yes, it's September 16, 2006. I'm aware of that.

I'm actually not thrilled about it, but it was necessary. Time Warner, those friendly folks, were supposed to come hook up my cable in the middle of last week. I left work early to sit on my couch for those legendary hours, "2-to-6," and no one showed. I called them the next morning from work to see what happened. "They reported that no one was home," the operator said.

"Well, I was home the whole time," I replied.

"It shows that they called at 3:21, and no one answered," she said.

I then asked why they were calling instead of ringing the doorbell to confirm my presence, given that they were coming, in part, to hook up my phone service. The stupidity of the world is bottomless, it really is.

I've gotten tired of using pay phones for basic things in the meantime, so I went to T-Mobile and I'm now "reachable," god help me. Needless to say, I won't be the most enthusiastic user of the gadget, but it will serve its limited purpose. My second call on it was to my sister, and it didn't take her long to say, "Welcome to the 20th century." It took her five seconds longer than that to say, "You're breaking up."

What was so great about the 20th century, again?